CClown is done being Solo

C-CLOWN debuted with “Solo” and I actually wasn’t that impressed.  I’ve gotten used to the song, but it’s still not my favorite thing.  I think a part of me refused to watch them or acknowledge them because of Maru.  We’re talking about a kid younger than my Zelo.  Maru is born in 1997 and I refuse to like him.


After saying that, I have to acknowledge that Maru is my second bias in the band.  I harbor no sexual feelings for him (or so I keep telling myself that, I think for now that’s still true).  Though I do love masks and bandanas…. Stop it Maru!  I have students a year or two younger than you!!!




Since Maru is so young, why are his band members molesting him like that?



I’m not very impressed with the looks of these guys.  Ray drives me insane.  I want him to show his face, come out from behind that hair.  This is the most you get.



A face!!!

A face!!!

Then again, with a body like Ray’s you might not need a decent face.


TK’s face isn’t that bad….. Just really wasn’t wowed by this band.


I think KangJun looks a lot like ZE:A’s DongJun.





Now on to my actual bias: Rome.  This man is beautiful.  I mean, how can I deny that smirk?


Do you think C-CLOWN can make it with Solo?

Break it Down with Kim HyunJoong

Kim HyunJoong came out with this song in June of 2011 and OMFG, unf.  This man is so full of sex and want that there was no way I wasn’t going to review it.  The first highlight is the rasp he makes with his voice in the first verse.  Two words: Lady Wood.  Sadly, voices can’t be screen capped, so I give you eye candy instead.

Just bask in that outfit and pose


Highlight two, that outfit.  I will thank the stylist on your behalf with this rant.  Black, form fitting leather = ovaries activated.  Open chest shirt and his sculpted chest staring you in the face = ovaries exploding.  Nipple shots yes shots as in multiple.  Peaking out from that shirt it was positively sinful.  Nipple = overkill.  I already lost my ovaries, what else do I have left to give?  Damn you HyunJoong, you demand so much from me!  Thanks!


That nipple likes to come out and play

Highlight three, the random white girl.  She wasn’t really a highlight, but WTF, right?  Why is she even there?

The lyrics of this song don’t have that much of a meaning (at least not the translations I found) and the music video has no plot, but are you really mad?  I mean, if HyunJoong came up to me in that outfit and told me to break it down, I’d try every single break dancing move I’d ever seen on a TV show or movie just to make sure he didn’t leave.

As for the dance to this song, that makes my lady parts happy too.  My favorites are the “Mommy I didn’t do anything wrong” dance, and the “Hip hump dance.”  (You guys must really like these reviews to put up with the names I come up with for some of these dances).

For the “Mommy blah blah blah” dance just put both your hands behind your back (on your butt), palms facing behind you, then bounce up and down a little, like you’re trying to suck up to your mom.  The “Hip hump dance” is a little harder.  For the hands, ball them into fists, put them out to your sides, then pull them in, then cross them.  Pull them back in and then back out to your sides.  Try that a few times, see if that works (for you car drivers, stop here unless you are skilled enough to move your hips and drive.  Some people, like myself can).  Push your hips back and forth on beat.  Your hips should be forward when your hands are crossed and out to your sides and back both times your hands are pulled in.  Happy dancing!


Would you Break Down for HyunJoong?